“Thanks, But No Thanks”: Why Do Senior SME Leaders Turn Down Coaching?

Over the weekend I came across a post on LinkedIn from a business director who was clearly reaching out for some guidance. Nothing dramatic, just one of those honest, slightly weary reflections which crop up when the weight of running a business feels heavier than usual. So, I did what I don't often do: I messaged them and offered a 'no-obligation chat'. No pitch, no strings – just a conversation between two businesspeople who’ve been around the block.

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They declined!

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And I’ll admit it… It left me feeling a little empty. Not rejected, just bemused. Because if someone had offered me that sort of space earlier in my career, I’d have jumped at it. So it got me thinking: why is it that so many SME owners and CEOs shy away from coaching, even when it’s free, informal, and might just help?

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Is it pride? A reluctance to admit that they don’t have all the answers?

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Is it a vulnerability? A fear that seeking help could be seen as weakness?

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Or (and this is the one I find hardest to get my head around) is it because they genuinely believe they’re already the finished article?

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I ask these questions not with criticism, but with curiosity. I’ve worked with plenty of business leaders, from start-ups to established firms. The common thread isn’t that they’re 'broken' or 'lost' – quite the contrary. It’s that they’re ambitious. Reflective. Open to challenge and growth. And they’re smart enough to know they don’t have to figure it all out alone.

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Coaching isn't therapy. It's not a fix for a failing business. It’s a tool – a sounding board, a mirror, a catalyst. It can sharpen thinking, clarify priorities, and sometimes, just provide that one small nudge that changes everything. But to benefit from it, you have to let go of the idea that you should already know it all.

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Running a business is isolating. The higher up you are, the fewer people you can really speak to. Staff look to you for direction. Peers are often competitors. Friends and family – supportive though they may be – rarely understand the nuances of the pressure you’re under. That’s where coaching fits in: it creates a space for honest reflection and strategic clarity.

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But maybe the word coaching is the problem. Does it sound remedial? Or corporate? Or worse – indulgent? Perhaps we need a better word for it? A better way to frame it?

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Because if we can’t normalise the idea that leaders sometimes need support, then we’re reinforcing a myth that’s hurting businesses everywhere – the myth of the infallible CEO.

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So if you’re reading this and wondering if I’m talking about you – maybe I am. Not as a criticism. Just as a nudge. The next time someone offers you a conversation, ask yourself: what’s really stopping me?

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You don’t have to say yes. But at least be honest with yourself about why you’re saying no.

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- Antony